Is that okay? Of course it's okay cause I run this here blog...seeeee?! This is partly to vent, partly to rejoice, partly to share an important lesson.
The bittersweet reality of childhood friendship, that you can't fathom when you are 12 is that someday, your best friend may be just an acquaintance or maybe you'll loose touch indefinitely. You become different adults and sometimes that innocent bond doesn't carry over. And that's okay. After moving to LA and only checking in with each other quite sporadically I accepted that my best friend and I were very different people and it was time to move on an nurture new relationships. My friend is quite self destructive and lives in the past, blaming other people for her depression. This morning, that hatred surprisingly carried over to me. It ruined my whole day, it made me late for my oil change, gave me an anxiety attack, and caused me to have a margarita with dinner. Or was that all me?
Here's my point. You create your own happiness. Okay so perhaps your parents are partially to blame for your therapy bills- I mean, who's aren't?? and it's okay to be lost and dependent when you are still, as 'the friend of my' life jillian put it, "turning into the person you'll become." But there comes a point in your existence when you take the reigns. You are in charge of your own happiness. Living in the past, trying to find someone to blame for your unhappiness will only waste the present and the future until suddenly you have no more days left. Congratulations. You've got a lifetime of misery to look back on, just want you've always tried to create for yourself! Bravo. I let this one, absolutely absurd comment ruin almost* my entire day, when I control my happiness! I get to be happy because I have a wonderful little apartment in a wonderful place with my prince charming, a craft table and the most adorable bunny rabbit named Gideon. Sometimes you just have to accept you are the only person you can make happy. You are the boss of you but only of you and it's not your responsibility to make your manic depressive friends elated with the same joy you are. My new year has been full of giving and peace and love. I've been so calm this year and I choose to be happy everyday. Today was a little bumpy. I was quite upset through a lot of it , and that's okay too. Cause tomorrow I won't be. Fill your cupboards with people who love you and scrub out the mold and move on. Well don't really put the people you love in cupboards. That wouldn't be very nice. Unless they are really tiny people. Then maybe make them a bed out of cotton balls and put a cookie in there.
Notice I said "ruined almost* my entire day"? I got a hair cut, shipped an order, got an oil change and my love took me out to dinner and to see The Artist. And now I'm going to take this fuzzy little bunny off my chest and go sit down at my art table and paint some new creations tonight. Because I'm alive and I'm blessed and I'm grateful.
Who's the boss of me??? I'M THE BOSS OF ME!
The bittersweet reality of childhood friendship, that you can't fathom when you are 12 is that someday, your best friend may be just an acquaintance or maybe you'll loose touch indefinitely. You become different adults and sometimes that innocent bond doesn't carry over. And that's okay. After moving to LA and only checking in with each other quite sporadically I accepted that my best friend and I were very different people and it was time to move on an nurture new relationships. My friend is quite self destructive and lives in the past, blaming other people for her depression. This morning, that hatred surprisingly carried over to me. It ruined my whole day, it made me late for my oil change, gave me an anxiety attack, and caused me to have a margarita with dinner. Or was that all me?
Here's my point. You create your own happiness. Okay so perhaps your parents are partially to blame for your therapy bills- I mean, who's aren't?? and it's okay to be lost and dependent when you are still, as 'the friend of my' life jillian put it, "turning into the person you'll become." But there comes a point in your existence when you take the reigns. You are in charge of your own happiness. Living in the past, trying to find someone to blame for your unhappiness will only waste the present and the future until suddenly you have no more days left. Congratulations. You've got a lifetime of misery to look back on, just want you've always tried to create for yourself! Bravo. I let this one, absolutely absurd comment ruin almost* my entire day, when I control my happiness! I get to be happy because I have a wonderful little apartment in a wonderful place with my prince charming, a craft table and the most adorable bunny rabbit named Gideon. Sometimes you just have to accept you are the only person you can make happy. You are the boss of you but only of you and it's not your responsibility to make your manic depressive friends elated with the same joy you are. My new year has been full of giving and peace and love. I've been so calm this year and I choose to be happy everyday. Today was a little bumpy. I was quite upset through a lot of it , and that's okay too. Cause tomorrow I won't be. Fill your cupboards with people who love you and scrub out the mold and move on. Well don't really put the people you love in cupboards. That wouldn't be very nice. Unless they are really tiny people. Then maybe make them a bed out of cotton balls and put a cookie in there.
Notice I said "ruined almost* my entire day"? I got a hair cut, shipped an order, got an oil change and my love took me out to dinner and to see The Artist. And now I'm going to take this fuzzy little bunny off my chest and go sit down at my art table and paint some new creations tonight. Because I'm alive and I'm blessed and I'm grateful.
Who's the boss of me??? I'M THE BOSS OF ME!
